Obstacles of our own obnoxiousness!

It’s been another good week of living. Early in the week, I discovered that a geneology seminar was to happen on Saturday morning in Riverton at one of the church office buildings I’m familiar with (about a 25 minute drive south from Salt Lake where I live.) I noticed the schedule of classes and felt impressed to go. So glad I did! The Spirit had a couple of really key things for me to learn there. One, that I can relax and only focus on one name, and one family, at a time. (I started geneology research in 2002 or 2003 and quickly burned myself out.) And the other, to work on Dad’s side for now. I had felt the ‘Dad’s side’ impressions a few times over the years, but would talk myself out of it for various reasons. Haha. At least, now I know that’s what I have been doing! It was clear. So I feel a weight lifted off and it's a relief to have a direction now. Funny and obnoxious how we build walls of reasons around things we should be doing. ;)

Utah

So I've been here in Salt Lake City for 2 and a half years now. And I still feel this deep sense of glee and peace about that. There's just so much to do here: Hiking, camping, and friending! Haha. I miss snowboarding, but don't feel sorry for me. ;) I was just out for a Sunday walk and the mountains continue to make me grin as I stare. This is the first spring where I've lived this close to them since coming here, and I never noticed how much red rock there is along the Wasatch front. I wonder if that has to do with all of the green that exploded over the slopes, because the contrast makes the red rocks pop. Hmm. Well, it's lovely. (We've had a great amount of rain this past month. It rained like 23 out of 29 days.)

I miss grandma and grandpa. While I was walking the memories of our trips to southern Utah came back. I actually think alot about those times since moving here. I'm so grateful for the experience that they gave Jude and I. Someday they'll know just how good it was for us to get to leave San Diego and be out in such wild and beautiful country. Oh, how it liberated me. I could just feel the shackles slip away when we'd make that trip. If that sounds dramatic, it should. Middle school was, so far, one of the most trying times of my entire life.

We lived in a ghetto poor part of San Diego. Yes, that's a thing. (Lot's of places like that in SD.) A drug/prostitution ring was busted, in the apartments upstairs from ours. Nice. I still remember men with gold teeth hitting on me while I played in the dirt. But that wasn't really what was so hard. That peripheral stuff didn't quite matter as much. It was school that was so hard. I remember not being able to walk down the street and swing my arms with abandon. To do so would send a message that I was comfortable with myself, and that I wasn't afraid. Other's were always there, ready to beat you down, if you didn't show submission or make yourself not stick out in any way. I consistently felt in fear of being beaten up. You couldn't look people in the eye, because to do so would be a challenge and you'd get beat. Yeah, it was awful and I could go on and on.

So hooray for beautiful places, and people that truly love you, is really what I have to say.

Talk from a WWII Concentration Camp Survivor

I still cannot believe this story, and how fortunate I was to get to hear from this amazing woman. I went to a fireside (think of a Ted Talk, Mormon style) the other night and listened in rapt amazement for approximately 1.5 hours while this story feel from her lips. It was astonishing. Her name is Kitty de Ruyter-Bons and she was a Dutch citizen born in Indonesia. She was about 8 when her family was put on house arrest and soon thereafter put in a Japanese Concentration Camp. She's written a book about it, if you read only one book for leisure in the next year, please read this. It will blow your mind with story after story of courage, integrity, and her incredible mother. I was deeply moved and have since read her book. Here's another interview she did, and here is her book below.

interview:
http://www.mormonchannel.org/conversations/12

book:
http://www.amazon.com/As-I-Have-Loved-You/dp/1591560659

Talk on Domestic Abuse

Tonight we had a speaker come to our church and talk to us about domestic violence. (We had a good turnout too, and it was an honor to be there.) She's a licensed therapist and the director of a local abuse center, or I should say the local abuse shelter. There is only one entity, at least in the Salt Lake City Valley, or from some refinery north down to 'point of the mountain'. It's a non-profit, and they only have 2 homes. Of those two homes, only 200 beds to accomodate about 276 people. Most of which are children. Pause and consider that for a moment!

She gave us some disturbing statistics. 1 in 4 women in Utah are abused, whether emotionally, physically or sexually. 1 in 9 men are as well. Also, they turn away about 70 people a week or a month (I can't remember which but does it matter?) I found that shocking.

My biggest takeaway from this experience was when she asked us WHY we thought people endured the abuse. She pointed out that often times we think things like 'Oh, they must like it', or any number of reasons that are crap. She then asked for a volunteer. A sweet girl I know came forward goodnaturedly. She asked her to hold this bottle in her hand. As she went to hand it to her, and as the girl reached out to take it, she pulled back right at the last second. She asked her again, in a slightly different, more pleading way. The girl reached out again, and again, she pulled back at the last second. She did this several MORE times before stopping, with the same outcomes. And that was our answer. Why did the girl keep responding to her request, keep reaching out her hand?

Wow. Uh, it's been awhile since my last post. I need to suck less, hahaha! A lot has happened in the last year. Sheesh! K, here's a quick summary to bring anyone who cares up to speed: I no longer live in Florida. Yep, moved just a few months ago to Salt Lake City. Primarily for a new great job, and for lots of other reasons. Like being much closer to my fam, an actual, wait for it, POTENTIAL dating pool, unlike where I was, and for mountains.

Yes, how I've missed snowboarding. And hiking. And just having a view.

Oh, yeah...and....dating. Ah-hem, yes, dating...? ;) Whatever.

Anyway, so here's some more: I graduated in December of 2011 with a second masters degree. This time in Instructional Systems and Technology from Florida State University. Of course, I totally loved my program/instruction and thrilled to find the right career path. And EXTRA thrilled to land a job 2 weeks before graduation. Yes! Can you believe it? I still can't. Hahaha. So that was obviously awesome.

I worked for a small consulting firm that mostly bid on military contracts. I was/am an 'instructional designer' and I primarily worked on analysis of various forms of military training. Essentially, we studied their basis for instruction and curriculum, their needs, and made recommendations based on the data for how to improve courses. The thing I wasn't too keen on was that I worked from home 95% of the time, and so that took the fun out of working really since I didn't get to interact with people at my favorite level and didn't get to learn as much as I would have on a team.

Anyway. The other big no-likey about the job was really how volatile the company was. Too small, and too much crazy. After a few un-fun scenarios, I had had enough. his last one was the kicker: With about 2 weeks notice, they asked me to move to Jacksonville (3 hours away) and work with a partner company. I'd be 'temporarily relocated' for at least 6 months. I had just moved into a new apartment, which they knew about, just 3 months prior, but I was more than willing to go. Which I expressed to them and SUPER-SPEED QUICKLY got my affairs in order so that this could happen. Things like sub-letting my apartment. Paying that fee. Selling off my furniture, you know. And, drumroll, 3 days before I was to move, they changed their minds. Yep. I could hardly believe it. Still can't. No apology, a limp explanation, and no refund. Whatever.

Yes, so obviously, this was completely wild. There I was, homeless, in 3 days. Nice.

Anyway. Things worked out. They ESPECIALLY worked out. I found a new place, yeah still in Florida, moved, and immediately started looking for a new job. In Salt Lake City.

Which I eventually found. Though I had to quit the previous job, without actually having a job, and move across country. But it was right and I knew things would work out.

And that, my friends, happened just a few months ago. It's amusing that I'm here, a place I often protested I would never live! lol. It's another crazy and fun story, and I love it! All I can say, is I'm ever so grateful for prayer and fasting and the Lord. There's just no substitute for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

kids and lizards

so the other day while at the movies with a friend to see this sweet documentary 'buck' (on a horse whisperer type guy) i had a random moment. after the movie, i went into the bathroom stall and saw the tiniest and most perfect lizard on the floor. he was 'playing dead' as i've seen some lizards do, so the poor little guy must have been kicked by someone and was terrified. hopefully he wasn't in pain. so i carefully picked him up and walked outside to find some green new home to relocate him. immediately was noticed by some kids, 5 or 6 year old girl and 8 or 9 year old boy and of course they wanted to know what i had in my hand. so i showed them and we had an oh-ah-moment (he looked colorful from what we could see of his belly and what kid doesn't know lizards are cool?). i then explain what i'm doing, that we need to find him a home, and the little boy knows just where to take me. or so he says. so i follow him, 'kids have their ways' i think to myself. as we get closer to wherever he has deemed 'the perfect' home, i realize he's got some big lizard in a cage or maybe his neighbor does and that's where he's taking me! it was a female lizard and 'she would just love him' he says to me. so, call me cruella deville but i'm not taking him there, so i spy some huge plants nearby and abruptly change direction. kids are fast movers, it didn't appear to confuse them, and i explained 'he just wants to calm down and eat and be free.' so mission accomplished. the best part? how quick kids are to be your friend and come along with you. the not so best part? my friend wondering wtf is megan?

:)

it's been a great week, and only one more week of spring semester left!!! ya-hoo!!!

i'm thrilled to be almost done, no surprise. this semester has been very interesting, and so different from last. for one, i've had a semester long group project to do in my performance systems analysis class. and with a client, the florida equivalent of the dmv. and for 2, the part time job. so yes, it'll feel extraordinary to finish our paper and present our recommendations to our client.

the job this semester has been a real blessing as well. not much in terms of pay, but anything is a boon! and i get to keep it, going into summer.

summer will be crazy this year. i finally found an internship, hooray again! and this will be 20 hours a week. so with my other job, at around 17, it'll be serious work to maintain that balance. but hopefully, i'll still be able to do homework on the job. my class load will be the same at full time status, but the internship is one of those classes, so the classwork should be relatively minor. we shall see.

we had a seminar yesterday for my department, instructional systems, and it was so informational. we had different workshops and a panel of speakers came from all over. these were alumni who basically painted a picure of what we could do when we graduate. so of course, it was fascinating. i gained many valuable tips, and did some networking (which i'm STILL learning is so key). lots of sweet new people to meet, and it was really just a wonderful experience to get their perspectives from their varying industries. probably the single most important thing i learned was that reinforcement/remotivation in networking. fsu is big on that. and it shows.

spring break and other good times

wow, the year is flying by! i love it. i just spent a week in leadville again, snowboarding for 3 days and relaxing on the others. it was lovely to be there, to admire the snow covered mountains and all that muted with winter beauty. and so great to catch up with old and new friends. stayed with dawn, she's like family. and her kitties too. it was delicious to just relax and do nothing and pet cats, hers and the neighbors' too. jaycie and jason had a baby girl, sloan, 9 weeks ago, and it was so sweet to see them and hold her. they're just exhausted and kept making me laugh (nervously ha ha) with comments like 'you'll get yours one day, megan!'

it was great.

also got to see maura and parkes and eat @ tennessee pass restaurant....and haz and kim, dawn and i met them at this place that pretty much sucks for mexican food, but the sopapilla are to die for. powdered sugar=yum! maura was hard to read, as she was mostly intoxicated, haha, but she gave me a big hug and was happy, so that was awesome. parkes is thinking she'll move to hawaii in the next year or so. i'm so stoked for her. she mentioned it before, last year when i lived there, and we had some good talks about it. of course, i think it's a fabulous idea....insofar as what she'll do there, i didn't ask and it didn't come up. in my opinion, that part doesn't much matter. this girl has been working her tail off for some time and deserves the chance to regroup/re-evaluate where she is headed. she indicated to me last time we spoke, that she was considering leaving teaching....of course, i'm all for that as well....

another day, dawn and i drove out to salida to do a little shopping....thrift store, technical clothing store, and hit up some hot springs....THAT was especially enjoyable....the skies were blue, and the breeze was chilly, but that hot hot water was the perfect antidote....there's a small place just above buena vista, about 40 miles south of leadville, called 'cottonwood springs' that has 3 pools, and is only $10 mon-thursday...we passed this on the way to the continental divide, at the top of independence pass 2 summers ago, so i've been wanting to go....who doesn't love a good natural spring even if it has been commercialized?

so yeah...it was a seriously hedonistic vacation. :) the last day, i left early so that i could go through the denver temple....that was wonderful and i left feeling inside as President Hinckley promised "a little bit better." hooray for the restored gospel found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints!