talk from byu education week: marriage: built on the rock

byu education week: online transcript
brent barlow, marriage counselor

marriage: built on the rock

rutger's report: "persistent trends indicate a weakening of marriage" divorce rate in u.s. is 6x that of other countries. it's growing in canada, australia, uk, japan. all are following trends from the u.s.

matthew 24 and 25. a sign of the times from christ: "because iniquity shall abound, the love of men shall wax cold..."

2 tim 3 and 4:4 "in the last days, many will forbid to marry."

why are marriages failing?

crux of his talk: you can only build as high as the foundation is deep. <analogy with building the salt lake temple>

spent 15-20 years rebuilding the salt lake temple foundation, took 40 years to build the whole thing. 16 feet wide at the foundation

on what is your foundation built? how can we make it?

matt 7:24,25
hel 5:12

insights as to what we can do no matter where we are in our marriage:

1. study the proclamation on the family

2. keep marriage a high priority
d and c 42:22 "thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart and cleave unto none else."

pres kimball: "the words "none else" mean no person or THING . our work, our social life, [computers..] sisters, don't let your children take precedence over your husband."

bruce r. mcconkie: "the most important things we do in this life are marry the right person, at the right time, with the right authority. and then to keep those covenants."

3. avoid apathy:
many marriages end because of neglect...many end out of "small leaks" rather than "blowouts."
2 nep 28:21 don't assume you are alright because you were married in the temple

4. remember your marriage vows, commitments and covenants.
d and c 90:24 (this one verse saved this one woman's marriage) "by recalling our covenants, and this verse, we were able to survive 3 very difficult years of marriage."

5. to attain happiness, keep the commandments of God.
"of all marriages, 20 to 30 percent stay married and are happy. about half that stay married are discontent."
mosiah 2:41
joseph smith: in 1842 "happiness is the object and design of our existence and will be in the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it. and that path is "virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, and holiness in keeping the commandments of God."

6. practice forgiveness
d and c 64:9-10
overcome your own imperfections and overlook theirs.

7. resolve conflicts effectively and quickly (within 24 hours) this is a true principle!

ephesians 4:26
matt 5:23-26

why quickly? the longer you let it go, the worse it gets.

8. pray always
d and c 31:12 a kneeling prayer, a vocal prayer, and take turns saying it. (pres. monson said the sealer told them to do this, they have been married 50 years.)

9. attend church meetings and the temple regularly
by just attending church weekly, you can reduce divorce rates by 1/3.
take your problems to the temple. the insights will come. by standing in holy places.

10. read the scriptures often.
2nep 32:3 feasting not nibbling! "..it will tell you ALL things...."
alma 44:45

11. avoid or reduce stress, fatigue and overcommitment
mosiah 4:25..."not requisite...." super-couple syndrome
it's not that we can't or won't it's that we don't
d and 10:4

12. take time for recreation
d and c 136:28
brigham young says: 8 hours of sleep, 8 of work, and 8 of recreation.


d and c 112:10
proverbs 3:5-6
d and c 82:10
nep 3:7
lds means "let's do something"
hel 5:12

vacation, job update and i have a date!

oh yeah, baby. i am finally on my first official FAT vacation. i have the next 2 weeks off and what more is there to say?


i CAN'T believe that christmas break is finally here. it has been a grueling/gnarly/hilarious/tense few months as a first year teacher. i have been on the job now since september 6th and wow. i had zero idea how much work is involved. my heart my mind and my soul is here today to applaud all those who do a job that requires so much behind the scenes activity.


another teacher asked me th'other day how it was going and maybe cuz i was on vacation i smiled and said "great!"


there's so much truth to initial responses...no time for guile! (and that's a good thing)

and it's true. it has been great. i'm so glad to be able to say that!


p.s. i plan on squeezing out every bit of good time from this 15 days that i possibly can. wish me luck :)

rad hike with rad friends th'other day!

magnolia (not the white-girl) took me and krystal on this hike around thanksgiving....it followed a creek bed and wound its way up into the cahuilla lake mountains....we found a shimmering waterfall at the end and then went on to discover an oasis...we saw NO ONE, not even an animal...only skins of snakes long slithered away...and did i mention that it was amazing? thanks, mag.

hanauma bay, oahu 2004 - one of those views in my minds desktop

message in a bottle

in case anyone finds this, anyone meaning the perfect man for me or another perfect girlfriend, here are some things you should know about me:

1. i am easily amused.
2. i remember my dreams.
3. i have a tender heart.
4. i love plain donuts and milk.
5. i like to stay up late and clean sometimes.
6. i will most likely adore you.
7. when i sleep, i start out on my back arms splayed out over my head...
8. once i pushed a boy that i hated into a fence and ran (he got hurt and i still feel guilty)
9. if you leave notes for me i will love you more.
10. i pee in pools.

been gone

yah, been gone for awhile...in a galaxy far, far away? no doubt. and here i am, it's saturday night...was supposed to get together with a friend and she stood me up! what's a girl to do?
this living alone thing is not working out the way i had planned...hopefully, either i'll get used to it OR i'll figure out a way to get people over. maybe i should sell lemonade. or churros.
i dunno.
sigh.
it's saturday night and i have simple desires. would like to be curling up in my bed next to my lover and watching a movie. or watching him breathe. either one would really be heavenly.

itchy forehead

another day here. my eyes are looking elsewhere. thinking about moving again. don't want to stay for longer than is absolutely necessary. in fact, don't want to any more at all, but there simply is no way around that sheningans.

me again

so anyway....it's may now. hooray. HOO-FREAKING-RAY is what i say. i want time to fly...fly fly on wings of almost invisible speed...yeah, like a hummingbird.

life is nice though. i'm still in yucca. the other day i had another late night attack of obsession. those happen every so often. basically, something has to have been nagging at my mind for quite some time before this occurs. some sort of problem....then, i get to wake up at usually the early dawn and think think think about my solution which just appears to me so subtley like old faded spots never seen on a white shirt....and then i go back to sleep, so glad that i've finally figured things out....i smile with self-satisfaction...and then i awake. usually hours later whereupon i think, "yay, good job, megan!" and then whamo! reality hits me. and my plan is nothing. this is how it is: during the night, my heart totally opened up and figured things out, without help from my brain (cuz it was sleeping) and then when my brain does wake up in the morning, it's like "sister, you is one CRAZY FREAK."

:D

so....this is something personal about me that you now know. do you find that amusing?

where have i been?

i found the raddest sign while looking behind the clerks desk at the post office. it said:

i'm lost.
i've gone to look for myself.
if i should get back,
before i return,
please ask me to wait.

food poisoning

got it the other day. either that, or my body was possessed. it was crazy town!!!! i haven't been that sick in years...want to hear it all? okay. i was throwing up and you know what-ing every hour on the hour from 1am till 10am. it was brutal. at one point i'm hugging the toilet bowl with my nose just 2 inches away from NASTINESS and thinking, "like wow. the sight of that @#$%! doesn't make me want to up-chuck. and i have super-powers against barfing!"
so yeah. it was horrible.
after losing all the food in my system from probably days, i felt like a wispy human wafer too. not something you feel very often at this age.
it made me grateful to not be 90 yet. or 75. or any age where that kind of state was consistent. it's really amazing how closely knit our spirits and our bodies are...( was also thinking that intermittantly.) my spirit was SO DOWN. i didn't want to talk or think about anybody. everything just was so easily swept aside because of the physical misery. scary stuff. how many people feel like that on a daily basis? heavy stuff. glad i am better. would rather not think about it.
you can see how well that is working...
:)

anyway...today was a good day. as long as there's some laughter, and i can control my bowel movements, life rocks!

subbing rules

yeah, substitue teaching rules. i'm totally loving it! and getting plenty of work too!! and i do believe i'm going to enjoy doing this for quite some time...

moods

i'm in one of those moods today...laid in bed till like 10:30 or some other way beyond time. the phone rang...school district calling me to sub and yeah, i didn't answer....i felt like my bed and my body were the same entity...
and now it's like 10 hours later and i'm amazed at my own foresight. what a pleasant day i have had doing absolutely nothing but curled up blanket covered and reading....-deep satisfying sigh-and staring/petting a cat. that's somehow relaxing.
i've decided to jump into this credential thing full body arms flailing. and it's thrilling! i ditched the program at the state campus, san bernardino. too needlessly laborious with it's red tape: "do this, do that, and we are sorry if it takes you an extra year to get thru our program because we don't much care about efficiency." whatever! i've talked to a lot of educators who have said how far more facilitating and pertinent the program was thru chapman university...many of whom had started at csusb.
so yeah, i'm out. dropped my financial aid. ouch.
but it's all good. i've been praying and fasting that the Lord would help me make a wise decision, and i feel like this is.

kay bye.

finals over!!!

i'm giddy. VERY. this was an excruciating semester....not kidding. i took 3 classes, 12 credits: linguistics, intro to special ed populations, and psychology of middle childhood. they were all fascinating but each had it's own brand of heaviness. linguistics especially. that was quite possibly one of the most intensive classes i've ever experienced. but i sure learned alot!!! i'm looking forward to that day when i'll be able to remember everything i've learned in life. how cool with that be??!! VERY. but right now, my little brain can only handle so much...so i guess it's good that i'm going to temporarily forget most of what i just learned....

:D

good times. life is.

ciao

today

i had some good times today....talking to a 3 and 5 year old. i was trying to get the 3 year old to "read" me her favorite story. you know, it's way funner to hear them talk then to hear yourself, specially the little ones....and so she brought out her book and when i asked again, her sister, the 5 year old, pipes up in scathing tones, "Nobody here knows how to read, 'cept you!"
it was funny....good times...

NOTE TO SELF: say exactly what you mean when conversing with the younger set.

anyone have any amusing stories?? it's okay if only you laugh at them too...:D or any NOTE TO SELF'S??

huh?

if yer wonderin' "what the....?" or what the purpose of this blog stuff is, let me just give you my definition. i just like to write and communicate with people i love and so i thought this venue would be fun. it allows me to be more creative (and you too) and whatever...i'm living in outer mongolia SO HUMOR ME PEOPLE!!!

midterm

is anyone out there? i'm going to take another midterm for my linguistics class tonight and i must say i'm already GOING TO HURL.
anxiety ain't cool.
hurling ain't cool.
although once you do, you always feel better.....:D

if you could

i just watched "surviving xmas" with ben affleck and christina applegate...incredibly IRRITATING at first but soon to be a good time. the movie asked "if you could go back in time and relive a moment, what would it be?" i thought that was a sweet question....and i'm still thinking about it....and now my brain is fried so i'll be writing later...p-out.