yippee!

i am having a fabulous time as 'coach avery.' the kids call me 'sheriff', cuz i wear the glasses, and that makes me giggle. i kinda feel like the evil witch in 'miss nelson is missing': you gotta be mean and loud and kinda scary, or no one listens to you. (this is the hardest part) anyway, the other coach, coach mac, has taken me under his wing. he's a master at what he does...been teaching for 29 years....and i adore the man. it's the first time in my life i've had the benefit of a father figure actually there to mentor me! wow, and this is the kind of stuff other people get their whole lives!
:)

quote by Sister Watson-Nelson

i heard her say this at a fireside i was so lucky to be at in laie, hawaii in the chapel next to the temple on november 11th, 2007. both she and sister dew spoke. i will never forget it:

"If we only sprinkle our lives with the gospel, we will only feel guilt and not joy. To fully immerse yourself is to feel the joy the gospel brings."

quote by president david o. mckay

"What you sincerely in your heart think of Christ will determine what you are, and will largely determine what your acts will be."

i can't wait to ditch the dialup

can you believe it? my mom still has dial-up. the dish network is on my hitlist. she pays something like 100 smacks a month and gets a zillion channels which is about as useful as pennies but NO HIGH SPEED CONNECTION. how 80's uncool can you be? 80's uncool meaning all the crap at the thrift store that IS STILL THERE cuz no one will EVER think it's worth resurrecting. you know what i'm talking about. light green and pink ties with geometric shapes. big purple tees that go to your knees with puffy paint white cats.
anyway, i can't wait to move.
but i always say that.
:)

today is rad. i don't have to sub. HOO-ray!!!! so i'm in a coffee shop listening to my favorite set of retired folks. there's this group of women that come in all the time here and talk mostly of politics. how much bush lies, abortion, their friends with gay living kids. i love it. educational eavesdropping. good times! i put my headphones on, so they feel like i'm not listening and can really let it all out. they don't seem to care either way, but it makes me feel more like the fly on the wall i long to be.

i must say i find the issue of legalized abortion rather complex. on one hand, i believe the sanctity of life should be protected by the law. people always have their free choice no matter what, so they can obviously still choose to abort. and on the other hand, your right to choose is your right. which is a greater law?
and maybe that's the answer, right there in the question. the natural law, the free agency of man, will always be. man can try to take it, but it's ubiquitous. a law to restrict man's free agency is all any man can hope to do.
and that's the conundrum: your perspective. it looks like the antithesis of freedom, in voting pro-life, to a pro-choicer. when from the pro-lifer, it's protecting freedom. freedom to live. sigh.
giving people their choice to legally abort seems sort of redundant. plus, what other things can that lead to? what more redundancy do we need? ha ha. this discussion with myself is about to spin out sarcastic.

movies movies movies

so i saw a movie to love the other night. i mean, besides nims island! it was an older rental and totally accidental. never even heard of it...love when that happens. it's called '2 brothers and a bride.' http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Two_Brothers_and_a_Bride/70000545

i need to start keeping a list. might as well start here. don't want to forget these great unknowns.

Megan's List of Movie Gold:
2 brothers and a bride
unconditional love
danny deckchair
king of california


so....i wonder if anyone i know will see one? nims island doesnt' count! ;)

hm-m-m

mom said "imagine life without bills." this was the description of a book a friend had given her about how to eliminate debt. i love it: imagine.
right about now, i'm still working on, "imagine life employed." ha ha.

so anyway

yucca isn't so bad. i never would have believed it, but it's actually good to be here. i've been able to do alot at mom's house, which makes me feel worthwhile. so far, i've cleaned out a good portion of the garage...cleaned the carpets THOROUGHLY with grandma's bitchin' rainbow vacuum cleaner. (everyone with carpets should get one.) and done lots of other useful things that are too boring to mention here. :)
anyway, week one of april, and only one half day of subbing this week. but that's better than nothing! yesterday's 3rd graders where adorable too. one little especially precocious little boy (with dreads) asked, "ms. avery, do you have a lazy eye? i wish i had one. they're cool!" i laughed. who says that? no one has ever said that to me. kids are the greatest.

hike to 'deep creek' natural hot water springs...

amazing, yes? the last time i did this trip, i was dating jeremy, working at 'the bicycle club' and like 20? ha! i don't remember it being nearly as breathtaking. maybe that's cuz it wasn't.

update for mom

-this is the view outside my place. the place where i live with 3 yes, 3 other girls in a one bedroom.
hey mom!

i am having the time of my life... where do i start? work has been great... i'm just barely beginning to feel useful...the first two weeks i was pretty much left to my own devices. (this is week 3) the guy i am supposed to be working with, cameron, pretty much doesn't seem to have enough time in his days. nor does he seem to know what to do with me. and that's fine. it's actually working out great. in fact, i don't much want his help when it comes to learning about how the office runs. i'd rather have harmony teach me as it looks as though she is the one running the show. she has been there for over 2.5 years, as the financial aid officer. she knows everything and she has been having a difficult time with cameron. he is supposed to be over her, as the assistant to the director of fin aid, and wes is over us all as the director. another administrative assistant (besides me), jason, works with wes and then i work with cameron (supposedly.)

anyway, cameron has only been there for 5 months and he doesn't appear to really know what he is doing. smart guy, good guy, but awkward/nervous lots, and compensates by telling inappropriate jokes and being hard to find (this week he is out of the office for the entire week at a training seminar). harmony is very helpful, fun to talk to, and very efficient. she is in charge of the student workers and orchestrating all the intake of all the paperwork. which you can imagine is a load of work. so she is busy busy. i sit in a room adjacent to the financial aid windows, where the student workers work, with just harmony and jason all at our individual workstations. i actually have my own little area, which is great. my own computer, my own phone, my own drawers of pens and post-its....our workspace is separated by thin partitions, so we can hear all the conversations of the surrounding departments. it's fun to listen to people you can't see...i feel like i know them...

anyway, so this is a busy week for us. we have to manually award some 1000 students their scholarships. all via this program that is irritating to use until you get the hang of it. we, meaning me and jason. with wes helping us fix the bigger issues. (my roll is still rather unclear, but it looks like i will be just helping out where it's needed, thus i get to help jason with his job this week.) jason was out of the office on monday (he has a family and some visiting family) and so i got to start on my own with wes showing me how to input the data. it was fun. fun to learn something and then do it, and fun to actually be helping. the financial aid department has been running very thin for sometime. and they just got this new program, this new campus wide program that runs all of the things you can imagine a school needs to work together on. For example, we use one program to admit students, to hold their academic records, yadda-yadda, and the same program to handle their financial aid. this behind the scenes program also creates a user-friendly or student friendly portal for the students to see what is going on. for example, before any financial aid gets disbursed to the students, they can log into their 'my byuh' home page and see how much they will be getting. they can also check their class schedules, enroll for other classes, and check their grades, all in the same place. it makes for a powerful tool for them, you can imagine.

anyway, so i have been having a good time. i have to remember to get up and go for little mini walks. it's easy sometimes to get into what you are doing and not take time to get up and stretch. i don't mind sitting so much. the first week my butt really felt it, but i guess i'm acclimating. and it's a wonderful atmosphere because even in training they suggested that every hour you get up and stretch or whatever.

also, it's been truly great to know i am working for the church. and to see and feel that everywhere! for example, i got to go to devotional the other day! at work! and get paid for it! when there is one, everyone is encouraged to go. students, faculty, and staff. and they happen on thursdays at 10am. every thursday during the semester terms (so right now only one a month)

it's a real hardship...:)

so this latest one was really very interesting. we had a visiting faculty member from byu provo who spoke about the visions of joseph smith. i will tell you all about it when next we talk. so, it's a serious treat to get to go to these.

in fact, that's another thing i'm really going to thrive and eat up about being here again: having more time to enjoy all the perks that one rarely has time for when a student! yes yes! one thing i get to do more of is go to the temple. i'm going once a week now.

also, i've actually been going to FHE if you can believe it. I never really considered it very important being in a student ward. I mean, while i am away from you, my family is simply me and the Lord, and I never saw much point in another dumb group game while sucking away my precious time. i still hold to that. but this time it's different. i think because i've been going every monday night now for a month, have had friends give lessons/games, have given a lesson myself, and generally just feel like i'm in different company. the people that come need me to be there, they need us all to come, and i can feel it. i'm in a fringe ward. none of us are students, some are alumnus, and some are not. but we are all single and living here and so we are different from the mainstream. thus, i go to FHE for them. which isn't really interesting, except that it is. funny.

anyway, it's late, and i gotta run. i love you, mom!

p.s. one more thing...nothing like working at a church school to slap yourself in the face with your own crasslessness....i have so many little comments that i have to bite my tongue over...for example, "what, are you smoking crack?!" yeah, these kind of comments reveal yourself to yourself IN A MOST UNFUN way. and don't make you any friends...just awkward pauses and quick exits. :)

letter to mom and journal entry

hey mom! so, i've decided that i'm going to torture you with long, random, and seemingly endless letters that will tell you more about my life and double as my journal entries. i really miss you, mom, and it's just way funner sometimes to write, than it is to talk on the phone. it allows for so much more detail.....and, it's just like when i was a kid, and i would shove a bug up in between your glasses! :)

so, what's been going on? amy is here now. yes, she is here for a week. and she was planning to spend that time here with me, my landlords approved it at $10 a night for her. but, things have changed. she spent just the first night and she might be here for one more, but that's it. and this is probably a good thing. she and her brother were going to take a trip together this summer. possibly to greece or somewhere bigtime. but, he got a job all of a sudden, so he decided to meet her here....and, she wants to reconnect with some of their family that they are estranged from, so that is basically what they are doing and how this fun trip has worked out.

anyway, not very interesting for you, i am sure, but interesting to me. there must be a reason things have worked out this way and i will take comfort in that.

so, some new developments, i'm getting to know my roommates a little more. the hilarious little kumquats that they are. they are warming up to me and now i only feel a little bit like the adult who just wants everyone to stop hurrying and sit down and have a freaking chat with me!!!

so these are good lessons to learn.

when you get a chance, send me pictures of your new little dog. have you figured out her name yet i wonder?

today was a hilarious and somewhat disjointed day for me. i woke up by a phone call from the friend of eiryn's that was supposed to call me back LAST NIGHT and let me know that he wanted to work on our car today. he woke me up and needed me to come get him right away. (part of why he is so cheap is that he must be picked up.) so i spent the morning unshowered, in my jammies and no bra, AND with disgusting morning breath, while i helped him work on the car.(these atrocities are acceptable, and actually cosmically perfect for the situation since this man is married :) ha ha.

eiryn is the friend i have here, if you remember, that i stayed with before when i came after the divorce. the native canadian whom i just found out is from a type of native american called 'the micmac.' anyway, she is really funny, clever and easy to be around because we have much in common. it's great. we have interesting talks. and she loves all the same things we do, mom, good food and movies!

anyway, so she has a friend whom she hired to fix this car that we are both working on trying to get running. the car that she has had for a year, and that she would like to sell, but has resigned herself to just giving to me.

sounds like a much better story than it actually is....this car is pretty hashed looking....has SEVERAL rusted out holes along the door frame, and trunk....had an alternator problem and so it wasn't running, and that's what we have been working on. she had an alternator put in, by another friend, only to find out that it was bad after it killed the battery she bought. so we had to return that the other day. so this new alternator needed to be installed.

anyway, it's a never-ending money and time suck...this car of hers....

in fact, things have worked out to quite possibly go in another direction, when it comes to me and what car i will be using. for i am going to have to buy a car, now that i have this job, that much is obvious. i knew even when i said, "oh, i won't need a car in hawaii" that that was a pipe dream.... a frugal thought, a blessing for thinking it, but not real. -sigh-

i will tell you about my friend anne, and this amazing potentially my new car story, if it happens...

so my day was disjointed because i thought i would get to hang out with amy and her brother tonight down in waikiki where they are staying but it was not to be. so i was 'all dressed up with nowhere to go.' anne lent me her car this week, to ferry amy and her brother around, and so i just ferried myself! went on a nice little drive down to kaneohe and had some fun at the dollar store! and starbucks! never fear, i know how to party solo!!! :0

anyway, i love you mom. i hope all is well with you. dallin is in my prayers. won't you give starr my love? and nevy, mia, and cheddy too.

talk from byu education week: marriage: built on the rock

byu education week: online transcript
brent barlow, marriage counselor

marriage: built on the rock

rutger's report: "persistent trends indicate a weakening of marriage" divorce rate in u.s. is 6x that of other countries. it's growing in canada, australia, uk, japan. all are following trends from the u.s.

matthew 24 and 25. a sign of the times from christ: "because iniquity shall abound, the love of men shall wax cold..."

2 tim 3 and 4:4 "in the last days, many will forbid to marry."

why are marriages failing?

crux of his talk: you can only build as high as the foundation is deep. <analogy with building the salt lake temple>

spent 15-20 years rebuilding the salt lake temple foundation, took 40 years to build the whole thing. 16 feet wide at the foundation

on what is your foundation built? how can we make it?

matt 7:24,25
hel 5:12

insights as to what we can do no matter where we are in our marriage:

1. study the proclamation on the family

2. keep marriage a high priority
d and c 42:22 "thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart and cleave unto none else."

pres kimball: "the words "none else" mean no person or THING . our work, our social life, [computers..] sisters, don't let your children take precedence over your husband."

bruce r. mcconkie: "the most important things we do in this life are marry the right person, at the right time, with the right authority. and then to keep those covenants."

3. avoid apathy:
many marriages end because of neglect...many end out of "small leaks" rather than "blowouts."
2 nep 28:21 don't assume you are alright because you were married in the temple

4. remember your marriage vows, commitments and covenants.
d and c 90:24 (this one verse saved this one woman's marriage) "by recalling our covenants, and this verse, we were able to survive 3 very difficult years of marriage."

5. to attain happiness, keep the commandments of God.
"of all marriages, 20 to 30 percent stay married and are happy. about half that stay married are discontent."
mosiah 2:41
joseph smith: in 1842 "happiness is the object and design of our existence and will be in the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it. and that path is "virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, and holiness in keeping the commandments of God."

6. practice forgiveness
d and c 64:9-10
overcome your own imperfections and overlook theirs.

7. resolve conflicts effectively and quickly (within 24 hours) this is a true principle!

ephesians 4:26
matt 5:23-26

why quickly? the longer you let it go, the worse it gets.

8. pray always
d and c 31:12 a kneeling prayer, a vocal prayer, and take turns saying it. (pres. monson said the sealer told them to do this, they have been married 50 years.)

9. attend church meetings and the temple regularly
by just attending church weekly, you can reduce divorce rates by 1/3.
take your problems to the temple. the insights will come. by standing in holy places.

10. read the scriptures often.
2nep 32:3 feasting not nibbling! "..it will tell you ALL things...."
alma 44:45

11. avoid or reduce stress, fatigue and overcommitment
mosiah 4:25..."not requisite...." super-couple syndrome
it's not that we can't or won't it's that we don't
d and 10:4

12. take time for recreation
d and c 136:28
brigham young says: 8 hours of sleep, 8 of work, and 8 of recreation.


d and c 112:10
proverbs 3:5-6
d and c 82:10
nep 3:7
lds means "let's do something"
hel 5:12

vacation, job update and i have a date!

oh yeah, baby. i am finally on my first official FAT vacation. i have the next 2 weeks off and what more is there to say?


i CAN'T believe that christmas break is finally here. it has been a grueling/gnarly/hilarious/tense few months as a first year teacher. i have been on the job now since september 6th and wow. i had zero idea how much work is involved. my heart my mind and my soul is here today to applaud all those who do a job that requires so much behind the scenes activity.


another teacher asked me th'other day how it was going and maybe cuz i was on vacation i smiled and said "great!"


there's so much truth to initial responses...no time for guile! (and that's a good thing)

and it's true. it has been great. i'm so glad to be able to say that!


p.s. i plan on squeezing out every bit of good time from this 15 days that i possibly can. wish me luck :)

rad hike with rad friends th'other day!

magnolia (not the white-girl) took me and krystal on this hike around thanksgiving....it followed a creek bed and wound its way up into the cahuilla lake mountains....we found a shimmering waterfall at the end and then went on to discover an oasis...we saw NO ONE, not even an animal...only skins of snakes long slithered away...and did i mention that it was amazing? thanks, mag.

hanauma bay, oahu 2004 - one of those views in my minds desktop

message in a bottle

in case anyone finds this, anyone meaning the perfect man for me or another perfect girlfriend, here are some things you should know about me:

1. i am easily amused.
2. i remember my dreams.
3. i have a tender heart.
4. i love plain donuts and milk.
5. i like to stay up late and clean sometimes.
6. i will most likely adore you.
7. when i sleep, i start out on my back arms splayed out over my head...
8. once i pushed a boy that i hated into a fence and ran (he got hurt and i still feel guilty)
9. if you leave notes for me i will love you more.
10. i pee in pools.

been gone

yah, been gone for awhile...in a galaxy far, far away? no doubt. and here i am, it's saturday night...was supposed to get together with a friend and she stood me up! what's a girl to do?
this living alone thing is not working out the way i had planned...hopefully, either i'll get used to it OR i'll figure out a way to get people over. maybe i should sell lemonade. or churros.
i dunno.
sigh.
it's saturday night and i have simple desires. would like to be curling up in my bed next to my lover and watching a movie. or watching him breathe. either one would really be heavenly.

itchy forehead

another day here. my eyes are looking elsewhere. thinking about moving again. don't want to stay for longer than is absolutely necessary. in fact, don't want to any more at all, but there simply is no way around that sheningans.

me again

so anyway....it's may now. hooray. HOO-FREAKING-RAY is what i say. i want time to fly...fly fly on wings of almost invisible speed...yeah, like a hummingbird.

life is nice though. i'm still in yucca. the other day i had another late night attack of obsession. those happen every so often. basically, something has to have been nagging at my mind for quite some time before this occurs. some sort of problem....then, i get to wake up at usually the early dawn and think think think about my solution which just appears to me so subtley like old faded spots never seen on a white shirt....and then i go back to sleep, so glad that i've finally figured things out....i smile with self-satisfaction...and then i awake. usually hours later whereupon i think, "yay, good job, megan!" and then whamo! reality hits me. and my plan is nothing. this is how it is: during the night, my heart totally opened up and figured things out, without help from my brain (cuz it was sleeping) and then when my brain does wake up in the morning, it's like "sister, you is one CRAZY FREAK."

:D

so....this is something personal about me that you now know. do you find that amusing?

where have i been?

i found the raddest sign while looking behind the clerks desk at the post office. it said:

i'm lost.
i've gone to look for myself.
if i should get back,
before i return,
please ask me to wait.

food poisoning

got it the other day. either that, or my body was possessed. it was crazy town!!!! i haven't been that sick in years...want to hear it all? okay. i was throwing up and you know what-ing every hour on the hour from 1am till 10am. it was brutal. at one point i'm hugging the toilet bowl with my nose just 2 inches away from NASTINESS and thinking, "like wow. the sight of that @#$%! doesn't make me want to up-chuck. and i have super-powers against barfing!"
so yeah. it was horrible.
after losing all the food in my system from probably days, i felt like a wispy human wafer too. not something you feel very often at this age.
it made me grateful to not be 90 yet. or 75. or any age where that kind of state was consistent. it's really amazing how closely knit our spirits and our bodies are...( was also thinking that intermittantly.) my spirit was SO DOWN. i didn't want to talk or think about anybody. everything just was so easily swept aside because of the physical misery. scary stuff. how many people feel like that on a daily basis? heavy stuff. glad i am better. would rather not think about it.
you can see how well that is working...
:)

anyway...today was a good day. as long as there's some laughter, and i can control my bowel movements, life rocks!