unwanted lesson

man, so that just sucked. like alot. a friend called me to ask if i'd come play volleyball over at the cac. i got there and discovered it was the entire laie community playing tournaments....single elimination, btw. oh, and more joy, his team had won every game they played yesterday. which was for like 2 hours. no pressure, he says! anyway, to get right to the point, i sucked! made less than half of all my plays!!! argh!!! and, for the cherry on top, i blew the last game point. 14 to 13 and i just stared at the ball as it landed right in front of me.

man, humility ain't fun. i'm beginning to remember why i don't like team sports. i kept getting all annoyed at the ball hog girl. and she was so nice and had such good sportmanship! but then she kept taking my shots! so then i would swallow my pride and just go with the flow only to still blow it most of the time. and she WAS really good and i really was not. i'm so competitive! and how dare i be when it's been like 20 freaking years since i played volleyball last????!!!!!

i make myself crazy. this is why i like individual sports. because when you play alone, you have no one to compare yourself to, which is how it should be, AND so naturally you always rock.
:)
i really hate to not be good at something. so unrealistic and childish to think you can be right away at anything really. even if you were back in the day. so i guess it was necessary for me to do this. to remember that lesson. but dammit!!!